Clarence Wiki
Puddle Eyes Gallery Transcript

Clarence: I'm just a hot-dog guy walking around a swamp. Croak! You can't pass my robot frog swamp unless you - answer my three riddles. - Uh, nuh-uh. I'm the chief of hot dog police. Oh, yeah? Well, I'll just put you under my sleepy spell. Yeah, sleepy spell.

Narrator: And that is why it is too hot to live on the sun. (Switched to the next scene in Ms. Baker's Classroom) Learning, learning, learning, learning. (Ms. Baker switches off the TV screen.)

Ms. Baker: Okay, then. Who here remembers some facts about the Sun? Okay, it's not a planet, right? So, what is the Sun?

All: A star.

Ms. Baker: Good! Okay. I'm glad you were all paying attention. Now, do we have everyone here today? I feel like someone's missing.

Belson: Yeah, I think Breehn's out sick or something.

Breehn: Uh, what? I'm right here.

Ms. Baker: Oh, yeah. Maybe that's it. Okay. Uh, then, moving on Now, another interesting fact about the Sun is that...

(Scene cuts back to Clarence)

Clarence: There's something wrong with me! What's going on? Why is it so dark? Oh, no sleepy arms! Pins and needles. Oof! Ohh! What is this junk skin? Must be skin. My skin sealed up over my eyes forever. It was only a matter of time. Welp, I can't see. Just got to deal with it. You can do this, Clarence. It's gonna be okay. I'll go this way. Somewhere somewhere over here. Oh, what is this like, a mountain? Oh. Whoa! Ohh! Ugh.

(Cuts back to Ms. Baker's Classroom)

Ms. Baker: Guys, okay, I have some bad news. Because of budget cutbacks, we're not going to be able - to do our Spelling Bee today.

Jeff: What?! No!

Ms. Baker: However, the State requires us to administer eye exams to every student, so we've come up with what we think is a fun middle ground. "The first annual Aberdale 20/20 Vision Bee"? What does that even mean? Okay. Teams of three will compete for the best average score, and the winning team gets a gift card to Chuckleton's family restaurant.

Jeff:  Ms. Baker, a question Doesn't this give students with better vision an unfair advantage?

Ms. Baker: Uh, I don't see how.

Jeff: Well, your ability to see shouldn't really be a competition. Some people can just see better than others.

Ms. Baker: I don't understand. Are you saying you don't like Chuckleton's?

Jeff: No. I'm just saying I don't think it's fair, is all, and, frankly, I don't see the point. So, if we're all going to read vision charts, how is that any - cheaper than a Spelling Bee?

Ms. Baker: Jeff, I don't like your attitude. Come on, Jeff. It sounds fun to me.

All: Aw, come on, Jeff! It sounds fun! Just try it for once. 

Jeff: Well, I guess if there's no Spelling Bee, I'll have to win this Vision Bee.

(cuts to Clarence)

Clarence: Ugh! Huh? Hello? Who are you? Oh, you're a fish. Oh, and this is an easter egg. Wait, no. It's an eye pyramid. Ah, a giant toaster. And a candy cane. Whee! Whoa! Aw, chicken fingers.

Mr. Reese: Clarence, can I help you?

Clarence: No, no. Don't treat me any differently from anyone else. This isn't a setback it's a set-forward. Not back forward.

Mr. Reese: Uh-huh. Shouldn't you be in class somewhere?

Clarence: I'm afraid my schooling days are over no more reading for me.

Mr. Reese: Okay. Well, go wash that mud off your face and get back to class before I write you up. 

(Scene cuts back to Ms. Baker's Classroom)

Other Kids: "U," "H," "Y," "L. " That's really good, man! I think I feel my eyes getting stronger. - Me too.

Sumo::Okay. So, our team is you, me, and Clarence, obviously. Let's think of a good team name.

Jeff: Where is Clarence? We're supposed to be practicing.

Sumo: I don't know. Okay. Which is better team; Eagle Eyes or the Cornea Crew?

Jeff: "Team Eagle eyes" is fine. I'm gonna go find Clarence. If we're gonna win, we all need to be on the same page.

Sumo: Nah. I like "the Cornea Crew."

Other Kid: I think my spelling powers are getting stronger. That is definitely a dog.

(Scene cuts to the hallway with Jeff finding Clarence)

Jeff: Clarence!

Clarence: Gilben, is that you?

Jeff: (frantically) Stop touching me! Where have you been? 

Clarence: Oh, Jeff. Naive, innocent Jeff. I'm not the Clarence that you once knew.

Jeff: What? What's with all that crud on your face?

Clarence: This crud is my face, Jeff or at least the ghost of faces past.

Jeff: I don't know what you're talking about, but you better wash it off and come back to class, or Mrs. Baker's gonna be really mad. Also, we have to do this vision-test thing, even though I think it's really pointless, so Sumo and I picked you for our group.

Clarence: Vision? I'm afraid that chapter of my. Life has come to a close.

Jeff: Uh-huh. Come on, Clarence. I don't want to get in trouble.

Clarence: Where are you, Jeff?

Jeff: Clarence, we got to go back.

Clarence: Huh?! You can't catch me!

Jeff: Clarence! Clarence! Stop! Clarence, you're gonna get us in trouble!

Clarence: Hee hee! Ow! Ow! Ow! Hee hee! Ow! Ow!

Percy: Walk the dog! Whoa! Ohh.

Clarence: Let me go! Let me go!

Jeff: No! You are gonna wear a shirt like a normal human being!

Clarence: No! I'm not gonna wear my shirt.

Sumo: Hey, guys. Whoa. What are you guys doing? They're setting up in the gym for the Vision Bee. I signed our team up as "Sumo and the Laser Twins."

Clarence: Sumo! You're a sound for sore ears.

Jeff: Oh, geez. See, Clarence, you got to wash off the mud or else our team's gonna lose.

Clarence: If only it were that simple, Jeff.

Jeff: It is that simple!

Sumo: Don't you see, man? He just wants to be treated like you or I. How can you talk to this poor, poor little boy like that?

Clarence: What's that? Whoa! Sumo.

Jeff: What?! I'm not gonna be on your team if you guys won't take it seriously.

Clarence: Jeff, I can't see your betrayal, but my heart still feels the sting.

Jeff: All right. I'm gonna see if it's not too late to switch teams. I'm done with this nonsense. I'm not here to make friends, guys. I'm here to win.

Sumo: Don't listen to him, child. Sumo and the Laser Twins will never fail! You hear me?! Sumo and the Laser Twins will never fail!

Belson: "H," "O," "Z," "C," "E," "Z," "R. "

Ms. Baker: Please read the next line.

Belson: :Uh, "H," "O," "W," "C," "E. "

Ms. Baker: That's 60 points for team Belson.

Belson: Ha! Nailed it.

Ms. Baker: Okay. Up next, we have Sumo and the Laser Twins?

Sumo: All right! Let's do this!

Clarence: Hooray!

Ms. Baker: Oh, boy. Sumo, where's the rest of your team? Okay, you're missing a member. - You got to have three, hon.

Sumo: Uh, yeah. I don't know where Jeff is, but I can just read it for him or something.

Ms. Baker: If all the members of your vision team don't compete, you're automatically disqualified. Please exit the stage so another group can have their fun.

Sumo: I'm sorry, child. It looks like the end for us.

Clarence: Aww.

(Jeff gets in)

Kid: What's he wearing?

Clarence: What What's going on? What's going on? Where is it?

Jeff: I'm told you've lost your sight, child.

Clarence: Yes. Yes, I have.

Jeff: The doctors said this boy will never see again.

Sumo: That's right never again!

Jeff: Well, I've got something right here which will cure this ailment of yours and restore your sight Dr. Jeff's famous elixir! Feel its curing properties!

Ms. Baker: Okay, great. You boys can get off the stage now.

Jeff: Can you feel it?

Clarence: Yes, I can feel it!

Jeff: Can you feel it curing you?

Clarence: Yes!

Belson: It's just water.

Jeff: Say it with me now "I will see again!"

Both: I will see again I will see again! I will see again!

Sumo: Yeah! Shout it out!

Both: I will see again!

Clarence: Huh? I can see again!

Sumo: Yes! It's a miracle!

Clarence: Jeffrey, thank you so much!

Jeff: Now read, Clarence. Read that chart!

Clarence: "E," "F," "P," "T," "O" um

Sumo: Come on, Clarence. Come on.

Clarence: Uh "Z" and, uh

Percy: Ohh!

Kid: He's gonna do it!

Clarence: "D"!

Sumo: That's a perfect score!

Jeff: We did it! We won! Yes! Yeah!

Sumo: You did it! You did it, Clarence! Perfect! Vision Bee! We own the Vision Bee! Yeah! Yes! Yes! Yes!

Jeff: We won the Vision Bee!

Clarence: We We did it! We did it! We're the champions! We're the champions! Oh, my gosh!

Ms. Shoop: Excuse me! You haven't won yet! Every member must take a turn! Jeff is up next!

Jeff: Uh "F"? What?! N-No! No! How could I be worse than Clarence?!. |