Clarence Wiki
Advertisement
Dude, just stop now! "This needs some more information???"
This article is a stub. You can help the Clarence Wiki by to editing it.
Thank you!
Download
Nature Clarence Gallery Transcript

[Clarence is falling through the mountain and grabs hold of the cliff and climbs up and sees a snake. He sees Nature Kate as she picks him up.]

Kids: Yay!

Kid #1: Oh no!

Kid #2: [gasp!]

[A rhino lunges after the kids, but Nature Kate tosses a snake to the rhino as the snake bites him in the neck as he falls down.]

Kids: [chanting] Nature Kate! Nature Kate! Nature Kate!

Clarence: Everyone was going 'Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay!' But, then there was... Um, um... the rhino guy came back! And he was part man this time. And he had the snake, and it was on fire, and he was using is as a spear. And then she picked us up and jumped right off the cliff! And then that rhino guy came and threw the spear, but he missed us. And we were just falling, and falling, and falling, and falling... and... and but then she had a parachute, and Kate's face was on it!

Clarence: It was amazing.

Jeff: That never happened.

Clarence: Yes it is. Sumo was there. Right, Sumo?

Sumo: [chewing] Yeah. I remember that. Kate's awesome.

Josh: Well, I'll let them know. Okay, be careful out there. I love y-- [cuts off] Huh. Her phone must have cut out.

Clarence: You should've been there.

Josh: Bad news, guys. There's a baby goat caught up on Peeper's Peak. Kate was called to wrangle is back down. Sorry, guys, hike's cancelled.

Percy: [sadly] Aww, man.

Jeff: [sadly] Aww. I was really excited for that.

Josh: Right. So I'm gonna call all your parents and-- [cuts off] Hey!

Percy: Hey, mister? Where's Nature Kate?

Josh: I just told you.

Clarence: Um, why did you tell Kate that you love her?

Josh: We're involved romantically. It's pretty serious.

Sumo: Kate's dating you? Gross.

Clarence: Oh, you're Joshua! I heard your guys relationship is on the rocks.

Josh: What? Where'd you hear that?

Clarence: I dunno. Hey, can we go on some rocks?

Josh: Did Kate say that? What else did she say?

Clarence: Oh, she said a lot of things. She said that you're lazy, that you're angry, that you don't have any ambitions... whatever that means.

Josh: What! Wh-- I-I have tons of ambitions! ...That's it! We're going on a hike, and we're going to, uhh, Sheep's Bridge! [dramatic music]

Sumo: Uh, we shouldn't go there. Nobody goes there.

Josh: I know. That's where we're going. Everybody in the bronco!

Everyone except Sumo: Yay!!!

[They find out if the bronco was gone.]

Josh: Uhh. I guess Kate took the bronco. Everybody in my car!

Everyone except Sumo: Yay!!!

[At the road, Sumo is punching Josh's seat.]

Clarence: [singing loudly] The stars at night are big and bright! Deep in the heart of Texas!

Jeff: Hey Josh, check it out. I drew a map for us with more accurate topography.

Josh: Yeah, yeah, that's nice! WOAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!!!

[Josh sees a giant rock and turns the car around.]

Clarence: Nature Kate says the rock will never hurt you, if you treat it when the respect it deserves.

Josh: Rocks are rocks, that's it, the end!

Percy: Can you open my milk for me?

[One hour later.]

Clarence: Nature Kate says that milk is nature's milk.

Josh: WHAT!!

[Percy vomits on Josh's seat.]

Josh: [exclaims in disgust] Get on your seat!

[Josh hits the cactuses.]

[Two hours later. Sumo keeps punching Josh's seat.]

Josh: Stop punching my seat!!

Sumo: Okay! [kicks Josh's seat] You don't even know where we are, do you, Joshua?

Josh: Yes I do!

Clarence: Nature Kate always knows where we are, because her brain is the map of the universe. Just follow the stars like she does, Joshua.

Jeff: [to Clarence] Even if we find it now, it's probably too late even hike.

Clarence: Salty.

Sumo: Yeah, Joshua, hurry up! [kicks Josh's seat]

Josh: FINE! Everybody wanna go back?! Fine, we'll go back home! We're all goin' home!

[Josh turns his car around]

Clarence: No, keep going, Nature Joshua!

Josh: No, we're going home. Deal with it!

Clarence, Sumo and Jeff: [chanting] Turn around! Turn around! Turn around! Turn around!

Percy: [chanting] We love clowns! We love clowns!

[Josh turns up the music, making his car almost break.]

Jeff: Um, you should slow down, or I think I'm gonna pop a tire!

Josh: You kidding?! It's a pinto! These things are invincible!

[Josh's car's wheels break, as the car turns around like crazy. The car stops.]

Josh: Alright, everyone, just stay calm. I'm gonna see what the problem is--

[Sumo runs out of the car and runs off like a dog.]

Josh: Hey, hey! No-no-no-no, wait, come back! Where is he going?

Clarence: Yeah, he does that. You're supposed to lock the door so he doesn't get out.

Josh: Well does he come back?

Clarence: Yeah, probably.

[Three hours later.]

Josh: No bars.

Jeff: No bars.

Percy: No bars.

Clarence: Oh, I got lots of bars.

[A seagull swipes Clarence's phone.]

[Four hours later.]

Clarence: [sings] The stars at night are big and bright. Deep in the heart of Texas.

Jeff: We've been driving for almost four hours. That's a good two-day walk.

Clarence: Nature Kate always got us here in 20 minutes. And also, she brought us granola.

Josh: Oh, that's fine, that's fine! Absolutely fine! You know what? You do it! Somebody else wanna lead!? Go ahead, I quit!

Clarence: Well, Nature Kate did say I'm an actual leader, so.... Yeah, I'll do it. I'll be Nature Clarence. Follow meeeee! Hoo hoo! Hoo hoo! Hoo hoo! Hoo hoo! Hoo hoo! Hoo hoo! Hoo hoo!

[Five hours later.]

Clarence: [weakly] Hoo hoo. Hoo hoo. Hoo hoo..

Josh: Where are we?

Clarence: You'll find out as soon as you turn that frown upside down.

Josh: Oh boy. I'm having a wonderful time.

[They made it to Sheep's Bridge.]

Clarence: Hey, look at that, we're here!

Josh: Sheep's Bridge?? But how did you -- How?

[They ran off.]

Clarence: Hoo hoo! Hoo hoo! Hoo hoo! Hoo hoo! Hoo hoo! Hoo hoo! Hoo hoo!

Jeff: Nice job, Clarence!

Percy: It's like little fluffy hot dogs! [chuckles] Ooh? [coughs]

Clarence: Percy, you're dehydrated, get some water.

Percy: Okay. [licks water]

Clarence: Jeff, you see if we can eat these plants.

Jeff: [smells] I think these are tubers.

Clarence: And Josh, I want you to find matches.

Josh: What? I can't find matches out there.

Clarence: Not with that attitude you can't. I'm gonna go hunt us an elk.

[A match falls onto Josh's head.]

Josh: What the? Matches? I just don't get it. It's like he's... magic or something.

[Josh sees Clarence climbing up the mountain.]

Josh: Everything's going right for him, and when I try my hardest, nothing ever even pants out!

Jeff: That's just Clarence.

Percy: Um, where's the bathroom?

Clarence: Hey, you guys! I found a hot tub. [yodeling]

Josh: Oh, he's lost it! Ah, not so easy being the leader, huh?

Percy: I believe him!

[Josh and Jeff climbs up and sees the hot tub.]

Josh: Wha?

Clarence: Hey, guys! Hop in, the water's great!

Percy: It smells like eggs!

Josh: Why is this here?

Clarence: C'mon in, Joshua! Don't you wanna relax your tootsies in this nice natural hot tub?

Josh: No. No, it's not natural. I mean, what is this? Someone hauled a hot tub out and planted bamboo around it, and who does that?

Clarence: Why not? It's awesome. I'd do it if I had a truck.

Jeff: I'm game! [puts band aid on his nose and takes off his shirt]

Clarence: C'mon, climb in here, big guy. Take a load off.

Clarence: Look at all those stars, guys. There's so many. And around of each one, there's a bunch of planets with some aliens sitting in their alien hot tubs just looking down at us. Hey, guys.

Jeff: You might be right about that actually, but alien hot tubs would be much more advanced than ours.

Clarence: Yeah, but they're probably not havin' as much fun as we are! [giggles] Right, Joshua? [sees Josh] Josh? Hello? Hey, buddy? You okay?

[Josh hears Clarence and changes his mind.]

Josh: We'll stay!

[Silence.]

Clarence: Uh, come again?

Josh: We'll stay! This can be our spa! Oh yes! Yes!!! And this, this can be my room, and this can be your rooms! Oh-ho-ho, I love it! And this, this can be our [climbs up the giant rock] kitchen! Who wants pancakes?

Percy: I don't see a kitchen.

Josh: And this can be our ballroom! Oh, how we'll dance! Ya da dee, da da, la da dee, da da da dee! C'mon, guys, the next dance is the conga--AAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!

Clarence: Oh no, I'll catch youuu!!

Josh: Guys, help me! Throw down a rope or something!

Clarence: Don't worry, Joshua, we'll save you! [to Jeff] Jeff, throw him a rope.

Jeff: Uh, we don't have a rope.

Clarence: Excuse me, Josh, the adults need to talk for a moment.

Clarence and Jeff: Oh no, what do we do, what do we do, what do we do, what do we do?!?!

Percy: We can make a human chain.

Clarence: That's right. Human chain. [chanting] Human chain! Human chain! Human chain!

Percy: [chanting] Human chain! Human chain!

Clarence, Percy and Jeff: [chanting] Human chain! Human chain! Human chain! Human chain!

Josh: Do not do a human chain! I said no human chain!

Jeff: I changed my mind! Clarence, no more human chain!

Percy: Ooooh....

[Clarence falls down and bonks Josh.]

Josh: I'M GONNA DIE!! NO!!! NO!!

Clarence: Oh my gosh! I'm scared! Aaah! Don't worry, Josh. Nature Kate says that if you just believe in nature, the nature will-- [farts on Josh, which makes him angry at Clarence] ...excuse me. Oh my gosh! It's the hot tub aliens!

[Jeff and Percy see Kate's bronco as the bronco drives in front of them.]

Percy: Nature Kate!

Jeff: And Sumo!

[Goat bleats. They drive home.]

Clarence: ...And then I farted on him!

Sumo: [laughs]

Josh: I'm not cut out for nature. I'm belong in the grocery store. I'm grocery Josh, and if you can't accept that, well, then it's over between us!

Kate: Oh. That is great! 'Cause I've sorta been seeing Damien for a while now and I didn't know how to tell you.

Josh: What!

Clarence: Ah. You know, guys, when we were out there in the middle of nowhere with all the dangerous stuff around us, I wasn't even scared. Because we were in mother nature and mother nature would never do anything to hurt us. Right, Sumo?

Sumo: Yeah, that sounds true.

[Goat bites Josh in the ear.]

Josh: AAAHH!!! MY EAR! Oh! Oh no, where is it?! Oh, it's under the seat! Somebody get it!! It's under the seat!!

Advertisement